Somebody to love
by Happymood
Summary: Prussia thinks about his relationship with Romano. It's funny how much he always falls under the same patterns... it's kind of masochistic, actually. Spamano, Prumano.


The funny part is he start thinking about what was wrong with him when he listens to Queen's 'Somebody to love'. It is not his kind of music, but he finds himself humming to the song, then downright singing it out-loud under the shower until his brother barges into the bathroom and shouts something about needing to work, and could you please slow it down? Please?

Gilbert still sings, though, and goes on saying that he 'Needs somebody to love' as Ludwig growls, switches off the radio and storms off while Gilbert snickers. He does as told though. He stops singing, and his mind takes him somewhere else.

His good mood has the same fate as his radio: it suddenly switches off.

He wonders what is wrong with him. He wonders why he always falls for the wrong people. Wonders why he is such a masochist.

It doesn't last long.

Disappointment is taken over by anger, and he steps angrily out of the shower and switches the radio back on. The music (ACDC this time, more awesome) calms him down, and he stops thinking.

That doesn't last long either.

It is because he had forgotten Italy is supposed to come over to dinner that evening. He tries to smile and invites the two brothers in, because Italy has dragged Romano with him, for what he doesn't know, and Romano is scowling at the world and Gilbert wonders once more why he always falls for the wrong people.

It shouldn't have happened, actually. Gilbert doesn't know how or why, because if he goes back in time, tries to pinpoint when exactly he saw Romano for the first time in his life, his memories are all but a blur.

He has a feeling he has met Romano on one of his visits to Spain, back when Romano was still working for him. They exchange a glance. Gilbert grins at him, knowing he looks terrifying, and Romano scowls.

Just scowls.

And then Spain comes and takes him away before Gilbert can say something stupid and make the boy cry.

Then there is nothing.

Or maybe they do meet but Gilbert doesn't remember. It is not important.

Romano becomes important only when he joins in the War.

As the War was important to him, Romano automatically becomes important too.

He just sits down on a chair, watching absentmindedly out of the window, when North Italy and Romano come in. He spares Italy a glance, but his eyes are strangely focused on Romano, who does nothing but roll his eyes at them both and sits down.

He has grown, is all Gilbert thinks. Romano's eyes are hazel and sour. He is handsome, Gilbert notices. More handsome than North Italy, whose rounder face makes him cuter than anything. Gilbert's eyes are drawn down to Romano's fingers, tapping anxiously on his armchair while Ludwig is saying something, about the War, about plans, who knows? All Gilbert listens to is that continuous tapping until he starts counting.

One. Two. Three. One. Two. Three. It's a march.

One. Two…

Gilberts looks up at Romano. Romano is staring at him. His eyes are knifes, they stab him and Gilbert narrows his eyes at him.

"Can you stop that?" He says because he needs something to explain why he is staring at Romano so much. Ludwig and Feliciano look at him, but Lovino just grins mischievously at him. It is like he _knows_.

One. Two. Three. It's thunder.

Gilbert is almost glad he keeps doing that.

Maybe it is because Romano is such a rebel that Gilbert continuously goes to him. He doesn't admit it, because he is scared everyone is going to compare him to Germany, but he likes order, he likes rules, he likes everything going his way. Romano doesn't like order, he hates rules, and he wants everything going his way. Just for that, Gilbert takes it upon himself to put Romano in line.

It doesn't work.

Italy is easier to tame. He does everything Germany asks, even if the later keeps complaining Italy is lazy. Germany's nerves wouldn't manage two Italys together. Gilbert wants to be a good big brother and says he is going to do it.

It doesn't work.

Romano flicks him the bird every time he tries. Romano laughs at his face. Romano just keeps sleeping, and where Germany would have shot him straight into his head, Gilbert laughs back. It takes Romano so aback, that suddenly it is easier to speak to him.

Romano doesn't actually chats, but he is a little bit more open. Screaming, scowling and swearing aside, Gilbert likes his company. He wonders why he has never noticed Romano before.

He likes the way Romano talks back. He likes the way Romano doesn't care.

Romano likes being able to hurt him without actually hurting him.

It doesn't take a genius for Gilbert to understand that what Romano likes the most is Spain.

At first, the other name's comes out rarely, but after a while Spain is a continuous presence in Romano's conversations. Gilbert pretends not to care and even tells him funny anecdotes of all the times the Bad Touch Trio gathered together to make Romano feel better.

In the long run Gilbert is downright annoyed. He hates the way Romano makes fun of the Bad Touch Trio's name. It is an awesome name, after all.

Gilbert thinks is completely normal for Romano to insult Spain all day long, but it's taken aback when the other tells him, out of the blue, with wide, amused, scared eyes, completely taken aback that no, Spain is not my boyfriend. What makes you think that?

It is the blush on the other's face that irritates Gilbert the most. When asked, Gilbert doesn't really know how to explain it.

Romano doesn't bring up Spain's name for a long time after that.

It is much later that Gilbert remembers one of his friends comes from the South. It is when Romano is kidnapped by England. It's not Gilbert who rescues him (he is away for business), but when he sees Romano the next time, Romano confessed having called Spain to bail him out of that terrifying situation.

Gilbert is pissed, but not as much as Romano. He keeps cursing Spain to hell and back, and Gilbert tries to reason with him, tries to make him understand that Spain could in no way save him, but he stops attempting immediately later. In the end, he likes the way Romano is pissed off.

It is then that Gilbert wonders how much Spain cares.

"He saved me from Ottoman Empire once…" is what Romano tells him one day. He is blushing, his features become day by day all the handsomer, and Gilbert realizes that Spain may care after all. The fact doesn't comfort him as it should have.

Spain is always there.

Even when Romano is shot one day, and there is no one else to help him but Gilbert, Romano calls Spain's name. Gilbert calls him an idiot, tries to pick him up and take him away to somewhere safe. He is cold and the snow turns red under Romano's feet, and he knows the other won't die, but he can't help himself worrying.

"Hang on. Hang on, you fucking retard."

"Spain. Where is Spain?"

Romano is there, but not entirely. His eyes are wide open, and he is staring at the wound without really seeing it. Everything is white and red and a little bit blurry, but Gilbert blames the cold for that.

"How many times did I tell you to stay hidden?" Gilbert asks, shouts, he is not sure anymore. Romano is heavy. He tells him that he should stop eating all that pasta, just to say something that doesn't have to do with the War. Romano doesn't listen. He doesn't even attempt hitting him.

"S-Spain…" He is almost unconscious, but his hand suddenly grabs his coat tighter. Gilbert knows Romano is hallucinating.

"I am here." Gilbert says. He gulps, he wants to be back home and bath.

"Spain? You idiot, I hate you."

"I know, I know." Gilbert said. He checks behind him to see if they are still following them. There is only snow. "But tell me later, okay? When we are far away and safe."

"Safe… Aa, Spain, why are you here?" Romano asks. "Why didn't you come when I fucking needed you?"

"I couldn't, okay?" Gilbert exclaims and –shit!- someone is shooting again. "Let Gilbert protect you instead. Gilbert is my friend."

"Gilbert likes me." Romano suddenly says and Gilbert's heart stops. "I see the way he looks at me. I am Italian, I know that look."

Gilbert doesn't talk for a while.

"No, he doesn't." He says finally. "Just hang on, okay?"

Romano hums or swears, Gilbert isn't sure.

"Aren't you jealous?" he suddenly asks, and Gilbert doesn't know why he says:

"Oh God, yes. Yes."

Romano seems pleased and there is the phantom of a smile on his lips before he falls unconscious.

It is not much later that Romano quits. North Italy is not sure yet. Germany is going mad with anger and worry and Gilbert doesn't know what else, and Gilbert… Gilbert is actually quite glad.

Elizabeta called him an idiot a long time before. Gilbert had proposed to her, no one knows but the two of them. She is going to marry Roderich. She was actually happy before Gilbert barges in her rooms. She is beautiful in her white dress. She looks like a princess, while he is sweaty and panting from running so fast.

"Are you sure you want to be loved, Gilbert?" She asks that day. Gilbert doesn't understand. "Because you know you can't have me, and I love Austria. You know that and still you ask for my hand."

"I know it seems crazy."

"So then why?"

"I hoped you could love me a little bit as well."

Elizabeta looks sad at him. Gilbert waves it off, says she is being pranked, and -God! The look on your face!- and walk back to the church to attend the wedding as planned.

Gilbert remembers that when he is leaning against the Berlin Wall taking a drag. He thinks of that and then he curses out loud because it's snowing too much. Ivan just smiles at him and tells him something about sunflowers and imagining somewhere warm.

Gilbert imagines his house where Germany now lives but it is not warm enough.

He tries to imagine a place in the world much warmer than Russia in winter. He closes his eyes and knows he should think about the Caribbean, or Seychelles, let his mind eye follow the curves under her blue dress, but the only thing he can think of are hazel eyes.

Heck, South Italy is a warm place too. He remembers Rome and the Etna. He remembers the first and only pizza Romano cooked for him (only for him) because he was bored.

It is just a spark, but his heart is just a little bit warmer.

When asked, Ivan tells him Romano has tried to help Spain out after the War, that he doesn't have any other information about the other nation. Gilbert tells him: "Shit, thanks" and lets it go. Spain is always there and Romano will always be there to help him.

So it is natural for him not to expect Romano there when the Wall is torn down. He expects his brother (and he is there), maybe even Hungary (and she is there), but not Romano (but he is there too). Italy is there because Romano needs a reason to be there.

They look at each other for a long, awkward moment. Gilbert doesn't know what to say, Romano wants to flee, he can tell by the look in his eyes, but he doesn't. Ludwig pats him on the back and tells him "Welcome back!". Hungary hugs him. Romano tells him:

"I thought you were dead. What a shame."

Gilbert laughs and laughs and laughs. Romano scowls, but Gilbert knows Romano too well to take offence by that.

It is as nothing happened.

Romano drops by when Italy needs something from Germany. While the others talk, he stays with Gilbert, comments and insults at the same time his every adventure, and Gilbert likes that. He likes the way Romano makes himself at home and cooks something for him because sausages and krauts are shit and you look like both.

Gilbert gains two kilos with that, but he doesn't actually want to exercise to lose them. He talks to Romano instead. He calls him on the phone just to importune him, and Romano continuously complaints but never hangs up.

"Germany is such a pain in the ass." Romano says, "But are you sure you are related? I-I mean, is not like I am saying you aren't a pain in the ass too, but-!"

"Oh, thanks, Romano!" Gilbert says and he is smiling. "So you do like me."

"I-I didn't say that!"

"Of course not." Gilbert feels like taking it a step farther. "So you wouldn't mind if I stayed with you a little bit more tomorrow?"

"Don't be an idiot. Of course I would mind. It is so boring with you here."

"Say, if I manage to be _less _boring, would you mind me then?"

"Less boring how?"

"There are many things we could do…"

Silence. Then Romano actually giggles.

"Do you have something in mind?"

"A lot of things…" Gilbert feels warm, "Many things. Many games. Do you like Twister?"

"That's so fucking old."

"That's bad, I am awesome at Twister. I know many positions. Poker then?"

"Normal poker or awesome poker?"

"Only if you can play."

Romano snorts, but then Feliciano needs the phone and Romano hangs up.

The day after Gilbert goes to Rome. He brings Twister with him, and loves it when Romano laughs so hard he cries.

He actually goes one day and asks him to teach him Italian for no reason. Lovino obviously says no, but then throws an Italian book at him and tells him he could start with that. Gilbert doesn't pay attention to it, just watches as Romano sits down next to him and starts watching the news on the television.

A moment later, Spain is there. Fires, the reporter said. Acres of land are burning down. Gilbert doesn't have enough time to say anything that Romano stands up and goes to call Spain. Gilbert stares at the news, while Romano says something about wrong numbers and… well… I think I heard something about fires… are you okay?

It is October when Gilbert finally decides to pay Spain a visit. He doesn't go there without a reason. Germany wants Spain to see some papers, but it is Gilbert who offers to bring them to him. Spain welcomes him with open arms. He offers Sangria, Paella, whatever he has in the house. Gilbert kindly refuses.

He gives him the paperwork and waits as Spain silently sorts it out.

"I hate paperwork!" The Spaniards says with a kind smile. Gilbert laughs and agrees. Antonio offers him beer. This time Gilbert accepts.

"I don't like Sangria."

"I know, _amigo_. I totally forgot."

"Yeah…" is what Gilbert says. He grins. He gulps down his beer. He procrastinates.

"So, have you heard of Romano recently?"

Antonio looks up from his paperwork. He is not paying attention.

"Huh?"

"Romano… I mean… yeah… whatever…"

"He is fine, I guess." Antonio says and he doesn't look interested. Gilbert is annoyed.

"You guess?"

"I don't know. He doesn't talk to me much, actually." Antonio smiles, "When he was a kid he used to be much cuter! He listened to everything I had to say! He didn't mind me protecting him so much back then."

Gilbert wonders if they had different images of Romano in mind.

"Cuter, huh?" Gilbert asks, "Don't you think he turned out to be quite gorgeous?"

Antonio seems confused.

"Maybe…" He says after a long moment of pause, "Probably. I don't know. Hey, what does this word mean?" He says looking more interested at the paperwork at hand rather than their conversation on Romano. Gilbert drops it and helps Antonio out instead.

Gilbert returns home not knowing whether to feel disappointed or happy. He sets for exultant.

Romano calls him that day. He has forgotten his ugly coat at Romano's place. Gilbert takes the first plane to Rome.

It is the year 2005. Spain asks Romano to marry him. Men can marry each other, he says. Romano actually doesn't turn him down. He says something about three meals and naps. He confessed to Gilbert afterwards or maybe Gilbert read between the lines and Romano didn't say no.

Gilbert is pissed. Romano doesn't understand why.

"He didn't know what he was saying!" Romano actually exclaimed, "Heck, Gilbert. He probably didn't get the joke!"

"Because you were joking, right?" Gilbert exclaims and it is not a question. He is pointing a finger at him, Romano is taken aback.

"Of course I was."

"Damn it if I believe you." Gilbert states and he wonders if he is taking it too far when Romano becomes red from anger.

"Why do you care so much? It is not your fucking business if I was joking or not!"

"It is when it is so obvious you love Spain so much!" Gilbert exclaims. "Can't you see you can't have him? He is not yours! He never was yours! He cares, fuck, of course he cares, but not in the same way as you do! Can't you fucking see?"

"Fuck you." Is all Romano has to say. "Fuck you." And he storms out of the door and Gilbert has enough time to see Romano is crying. There is a battle going on inside of him. He sits down on, taps his fingers on the armchair… one. Two. Three. His heart is warm, his blood runs cold. One. Two. Three.

He curses and runs after him. It's raining. Romano is nowhere to be seen, and Gilbert remembers red on snow and he curses himself.

He finds him a moment later. Romano is pissed, but there is something in his eyes Gilbert doesn't want to acknowledge. He grabs him by the shoulders and orders him to come home, but Romano has never listened to him and of course he is not going to start now.

"Go to hell."

"I am already in hell, don't you fucking see?"

Romano stares at him, long, hard, scrutinizing.

"I know you love me." He says, "I fucking know, okay? But I don't. I never will."

"Because you are waiting for Spain?" Gilbert doesn't mean to be sarcastic but he is. Romano is hurt. He wants to rub it in. "He still sees a kid in you can't you see? You mean nothing!"

"Go to hell!"

"He asked you to marry him, but he doesn't mean it!"

"Damn you! I don't care!"

"I do, because it's hurting you! And I can't stand that, you got it, you bitchy idiot?"

Romano's face is unreadable, so Gilbert does the most stupid thing he can and kisses him. There in the rain, out in the open. Romano doesn't move, but his lips do part, maybe out of instinct. Gilbert doesn't care. He loves the taste too much to breath.

And then suddenly Romano's hand is on his chest and is pushing him away.

"Just because I can't have Spain, doesn't mean you can have me." Romano says and shoves him once more. Gilbert pushes him too in anger, kicks him too, but Lovino just raises his middle finger and walks away.

They are both angry at each other, and neither of them wants to back down on their tantrum. They are both stubborn, so when they see each other at a World meeting, they do their best to pretend they don't exist.

It is probably France's idea, because it's a stupid one, but one day he tells Gilbert that Romano had finally confessed to Spain. Gilbert doesn't believe him, but he does take the first plane to reach the other in Rome.

Romano isn't answering his calls; neither does he want to open the door to him. At the millionth time Gilbert rang his bell, Romano finally shouts at him to go away. Gilbert goes in through the window instead.

He finds Romano crying. He tells him between sobs that he hadn't had the courage to tell Spain the whole truth. Gilbert sits down with him, calls him an idiot and embraces him. Romano lets him all the while rubbing his eyes to stop the tears from flowing. Spain probably didn't catch on, Gilbert says.

"Just pretend it didn't happen."

Romano does, but it takes month before he actually gets over it.

It is late when the dinner is over. Feliciano is in the kitchen with Ludwig and they are washing the dishes like an old married couple. Gilbert teases them, and Ludwig almost throws one of the glasses at him. Feliciano giggles.

It is too sweet for Gilbert tastes, so he goes in the living room instead. Romano is there, fumbling with the television but not watching anything because everything is in German. He hates the language, Gilbert knows it.

"Do you want some music instead?"

Romano shrugs, and Gilbert switches the radio on.

Die Ärtze is playing, and Romano snorts at the German music, but doesn't ask to switch it off. Instead he says:

"Sit down with me, will you?"

Gilbert does. Romano scoots closer. He is blushing, and Gilbert wants to smile but doesn't.

"How are you?"

Gilbert laughs because it is a really pitiful way to start a conversation. Romano scowls and looks away.

"Good, actually." Gilbert says then.

"Are you free tomorrow?"

Gilbert knows it's taking a lot of courage for Romano to ask these things, so he doesn't tease him and says:

"Yes, of course."

"Good." Romano says. "Do you want to come for dinner?"

"Should Ludwig know about this?"

Romano snorts.

"I am fucking asking _you_."

Gilbert smiles.

"Yeah, okay. I can come."

"Good." Romano says. He blushes, scoots closer and intertwines their fingers together. Gilbert doesn't comment on it. It's a start and he is not going to rush it.

He likes the warmth.

"Should I bring flowers?" Gilbert asks teasingly.

"Don't push your luck." Romano says and Gilbert laughs, kisses the other's head. Romano curses but doesn't move away. It is a start, and Romano is there, and the music is playing, and Gilbert thinks they both found somebody to love after all.


End file.
